I take a lot of photos of dance performances.
Maybe too many.
Sometimes, I smile.
Sometimes, I wince.
And then there’s the times... well... you know...
I like to call this portion of our trip:
Don’t Make Me Call The Dance Police.
Um... never mind.
Whether tis nobler in the mind...
Relax. I have a board with a nail through it.
Pssst. Web. (piano)
I left the viewer on wireframe again.
This is how performers can do all those amazing backflips and leaps and dances over and over again. They're always in the gym.
Or they end up like this.
Still better than any Tim Burton or Joel Schumacher Batman film.
Free hugs. (Of your face)
I forgot to clap, and she shrunk my Head slider to 0.
Oh. Look. A restraining order. (Deletes landmark)
I bet that if you licked that suit, it would taste like Tide Pod Challenge.
This is why you shouldn't put sits in the sofas on the other side of your "reflective floor" effect. It's, like, Haunted House at Disneyland.
AND THE PEOPLE ALL SAID SIT DOWN! SIT DOWN, YOU'RE ROCKIN' THE BOAT!
The ghost of Michael Jackson groped my ass.
Oh, I thought that said Mimes. Whew. Okay, it's safe.
The eighth dwarf, Upskirty, was edited out of the final cut.
I remember when I had too many Mai Tais and made out with a Tiki statue. (Splinters. Ouch.)
This was supposed to be a note of condolence for that Cirque du Soleil performer who... yeah, okay. Gratuitous ass shot.
Milk Bones help with bad dog breath.
The Chainmail Ninjas! (I love this move at the end of Debauche shows.)
Pssst. Web. (piano)
This is why you don't sit in the front row.
So that's how they get their new recruits.
So that's why they need so many new recruits.
This act has more genuine Native American in it than Elizabeth Warren.
Don't make me call... the Church Police?
Kinda like Main Street USA. But water doesn't cost 6 bucks a bottle.
After each performance, most performers like to hit the bars and... well... dance more.
This is what happens when you set your Air Guitar to 0% alpha.
Psst. Web. (More piano)
No, not really. It's actually a RIP false flag operation.
it takes 6 guys to fill a tank... that's why I'm going Electric.
Due to Daylight Savings Time, there are Four Angels of Death to cover all the different time zone differences.
Okay, I admit it. Some days, my photos of the audience are better than any up on stage.
Jitterbugging Flappers, Hidden Pssst. Web. (Piano)
All they need is a tee shirt cannon and they can do seventh inning stretch performances.
I had to look this one up in WikiPedia... yes, there are desert crocodiles. But they need a source of water. Amazing what you learn in dance.
The Tin Man won't return my calls. Picked up a bad case of rusty nuts, I guess.
if you don't remove your facelights, Misse will chop off your face.
And mount it on the Elk God's lance.
I'm still trying to come up with a Dumbo joke here. Help?
This is your pilot speaking... GLUB GLUB GLUB!
You're supposed to write your name on the INSIDE of your underwear.
(Yes, I'm making you zoom in on his crotch.)
Freddie, we hardly knew you.
You should wait for the dancers to clear the runway before you try to land.
Damn. Forgot my shotgun. (Gets slingshot) Doves is good eatin'.
Here at Debauche Labs, we make the finest particles for all the other dance shows... we're constantly trying to up our production quotas to meet their demands of eleventy billion per act.
Psst... love your soap!
Don't you hate it when you've got a show, your costume is still in the wash, and they're playing your intro music over and over, and finally you put it on and it's wet and...
Just run out there anyway. With those muscles, who needs a shirt?
The Day Before Time 27... Littlefoot Attacks!
(It was that or an obsure Charlie the Unicorn reference)
Very Lucky Chair.
I know that was a lame joke, but STOP SETTING ME ON FIRE!
Pssst. Web. (Well, shit. I took so long to do this one, that the guy died and rotted away. Sorry.)
Thank you, and stay tuned next wheneverthehell for the next thrilling episode.
"Hey. It's Cave. Someone's not daaaancing. Come on. You know the law - testing IS NOT a dance exemption. Don't make me call the dance police"
- Cave Johnson, Portal 2 Perpetual Testing Initiative Expansion Pack.