Monday, March 19, 2018

Don't make me call... what was that again?

I take a lot of photos of dance performances.
Maybe too many.

Sometimes, I smile.
Sometimes, I wince.
And then there’s the times... well... you know...

I like to call this portion of our trip:
Don’t Make Me Call The Dance Police.

The Outsiders - March 6 2018
Um... never mind.

Noir Neverland - March 8 2018
Whether tis nobler in the mind...

Noir Neverland - March 8 2018
Relax. I have a board with a nail through it.

Noir Neverland - March 8 2018
Pssst. Web. (piano)

The Outsiders - March 6 2018
I left the viewer on wireframe again.

Crystal Edge Dancers - March 7 2018
This is how performers can do all those amazing backflips and leaps and dances over and over again. They're always in the gym.

A&M Mocap Maniacs - March 10 2018
Or they end up like this.

Noir Neverland - March 8 2018
Still better than any Tim Burton or Joel Schumacher Batman film.

Guerilla Burlesque - March 9 2018
Free hugs. (Of your face)

Guerilla Burlesque - March 9 2018
I forgot to clap, and she shrunk my Head slider to 0.

Words
Oh. Look. A restraining order. (Deletes landmark)

Elysium Cabaret - March 9 2018
I bet that if you licked that suit, it would taste like Tide Pod Challenge.

Debauche - March 12 2018
This is why you shouldn't put sits in the sofas on the other side of your "reflective floor" effect. It's, like, Haunted House at Disneyland.

Club Image - March 11 2018
AND THE PEOPLE ALL SAID SIT DOWN! SIT DOWN, YOU'RE ROCKIN' THE BOAT!

Stage
The ghost of Michael Jackson groped my ass.

A&M Mocap Maniacs - March 10 2018
Oh, I thought that said Mimes. Whew. Okay, it's safe.

Moulin Rouge - March 10 2018
The eighth dwarf, Upskirty, was edited out of the final cut.

Phoenix Dance Team - March 10 2018
I remember when I had too many Mai Tais and made out with a Tiki statue. (Splinters. Ouch.)

Winds of the Sahara - March 12 2018
This was supposed to be a note of condolence for that Cirque du Soleil performer who... yeah, okay. Gratuitous ass shot.

Winds of the Sahara - March 12 2018
Milk Bones help with bad dog breath.

Debauche - March 12 2018
The Chainmail Ninjas! (I love this move at the end of Debauche shows.)

Debauche - March 12 2018
Pssst. Web. (piano)

Debauche - March 12 2018
This is why you don't sit in the front row.

Debauche - March 12 2018
So that's how they get their new recruits.

Debauche - March 12 2018
So that's why they need so many new recruits.

Debauche - March 12 2018
This act has more genuine Native American in it than Elizabeth Warren.

Debauche - March 12 2018
Don't make me call... the Church Police?

Elysium Cabaret - March 16 2018
Kinda like Main Street USA. But water doesn't cost 6 bucks a bottle.

Noir Neverland - March 15 2018
After each performance, most performers like to hit the bars and... well... dance more.

Noir Neverland - March 15 2018
This is what happens when you set your Air Guitar to 0% alpha.

Amazon Dancers - March 15 2018
Psst. Web. (More piano)

RIPA - March 15 2018
No, not really. It's actually a RIP false flag operation.

Centre Stage - March 17 2018
it takes 6 guys to fill a tank... that's why I'm going Electric.

Centre Stage - March 17 2018
Due to Daylight Savings Time, there are Four Angels of Death to cover all the different time zone differences.

Laura and Sev
Okay, I admit it. Some days, my photos of the audience are better than any up on stage.

Mynx Ballet - Vaudeville - March 17 2018
Jitterbugging Flappers, Hidden Pssst. Web. (Piano)

Mynx Ballet - Vaudeville - March 17 2018
All they need is a tee shirt cannon and they can do seventh inning stretch performances.

Elysium Cabaret - March 16 2018
I had to look this one up in WikiPedia... yes, there are desert crocodiles. But they need a source of water. Amazing what you learn in dance.

Elysium Cabaret - March 16 2018
The Tin Man won't return my calls. Picked up a bad case of rusty nuts, I guess.

Club Image - March 18 2018
if you don't remove your facelights, Misse will chop off your face.

Club Image - March 18 2018
And mount it on the Elk God's lance.

Club Image - March 18 2018
I'm still trying to come up with a Dumbo joke here. Help?

Desire Arts - March 17 2018
This is your pilot speaking... GLUB GLUB GLUB!

Centre Stage - March 17 2018
You're supposed to write your name on the INSIDE of your underwear.
(Yes, I'm making you zoom in on his crotch.)

Debauche - March 18 2-18
Freddie, we hardly knew you.

Debauche - March 18 2-18
You should wait for the dancers to clear the runway before you try to land.

Debauche - March 18 2-18
Damn. Forgot my shotgun. (Gets slingshot) Doves is good eatin'.

Debauche - March 18 2-18
Here at Debauche Labs, we make the finest particles for all the other dance shows... we're constantly trying to up our production quotas to meet their demands of eleventy billion per act.

Winds of the Sahara - March 18 2018
Psst... love your soap!

Winds of the Sahara - March 18 2018
Don't you hate it when you've got a show, your costume is still in the wash, and they're playing your intro music over and over, and finally you put it on and it's wet and...

Winds of the Sahara - March 18 2018
Just run out there anyway. With those muscles, who needs a shirt?

Winds of the Sahara - March 18 2018
The Day Before Time 27... Littlefoot Attacks!
(It was that or an obsure Charlie the Unicorn reference)

Debauche - March 18 2018
Very Lucky Chair.

Debauche - March 18 2018
I know that was a lame joke, but STOP SETTING ME ON FIRE!

Mynx Ballet - Vaudeville - March 17 2018
Pssst. Web. (Well, shit. I took so long to do this one, that the guy died and rotted away. Sorry.)


Thank you, and stay tuned next wheneverthehell for the next thrilling episode.

"Hey. It's Cave. Someone's not daaaancing. Come on. You know the law - testing IS NOT a dance exemption. Don't make me call the dance police"

- Cave Johnson, Portal 2 Perpetual Testing Initiative Expansion Pack.

1 comment:

  1. Always a good time for a piano! Great post Grasshopper and fun photos :))

    ReplyDelete