Sunday, January 21, 2018

Don't make me call the Dance Police (Shut down due to lack of federal funding)

Every week or so, I look back through the photos of Second Life dance performance that I’ve posted on Flickr.

Sometimes, I smile.
Sometimes, I wince.
And then there’s the times... well... you know...

Normally, I'd like to call this portion of our trip:
Don’t Make Me Call The Dance Police.

But due to the government shutdown, all non-essential government personnel are on hiatus.

Despite how important you think dance is, the Dance Police are not essential personnel.

In addition to the Dance Police, the following non-essential government services are not currently available:


Club Image - January 21 2018
Re-enactors in the Wild West stageshows in national parks. (And don't dance with any moose. Trust me.)

Club Image - January 21 2018
Sword-wielding crossing guards? Better run, kids. And if someone honks, run faster.

Club Image - January 21 2018
Caretakers at military day care facilities. (The kids just love the tanks! What does this button do?)

Club Image - January 21 2018
The Congressional Sex Dungeon. (The cafeteria, however, is still open. Ask for the Ham & Swiss with a cage on the side.)

Club Image - January 21 2018
DARPA's Anti-Gravity Research Facility? If you were flying at midnight, better hold on to a railing until funding returns.

Desire Art Threatre - January 20 2018
That includes pianos too. Sorry. No pianos for you.

Desire Art Threatre - January 20 2018
Any so-called "Dance Police" you encounter are not actual Dance Police, and should be reported to your local law enforcement.

Men in Motion - January 20 2018
The National Zoo. (We just let them out and forage for themselves.)

Men in Motion - January 20 2018
I think this is the Forestry Service. Or a bunch of axe-swinging maniacs. Possibly both. Yeah, they're off-duty. Burn, baby, burn.

Men in Motion - January 20 2018
Yep, even Stormtroopers. (NASA. Yep, Disney bought NASA.)

Debauche - January 20 2018
Arlington National Cemetery... man, they've let parts of it go to seed. It's so bad, the Unknown Soldier doesn't want to be known.

  Debauche - January 20 2018
Oh, were you planning on getting your hair done, Mrs. Pelosi? Good luck. Better wear a big hat, because the Congressional Barber is closed.

Winds of the Sahara - January 21 2018

I think the Post Office is still open.

Winds of the Sahara - January 21 2018

The FAA is closed, so pretty much everything can fly, even this... whatever it is.

Debauche - January 20 2018
Want to see a museum? You'll have to get through her. And those claws are sharp! (Remember when I mentioned those fire fighters? Yep. The museum's fire. Burn, baby, burn!)

Debauche - January 20 2018
Same goes for the Hirschhorn art museum. This woman will maul your ass if you take one step inside.

Debauche - January 20 2018
(When she's not surfing porn sites.)

Elysium Cabaret - January 19 2018
Coast Guard? Forget it. Welcome to America, pirates and brigands! Avast ye mateys!

Elysium Cabaret - January 19 2018
I think this is the Kennedy Center. Which of you is a Kennedy?

Elysium Cabaret - January 19 2018
Oh, these guys are.

Noir Neverland - January 18 2018
Ancient Egypt, on the other hand, is still open. But have your passport ready. (Oh, the passport office is closed. Sorry.)

Dancing Desires - January 21 2018

Drug testing at the FDA will stop. (Well, the official drug testing. Pass the brown acid.)

Dancing Desires - January 21 2018

OSHAA inspections will be delayed. Just rub some Bactine on it. Your tax cut bonus should cover the cost.

Dancing Desires - January 21 2018

Obviously, there won't be any White House tours, either.

Noir Neverland - January 18 2018
Whatever the Hell this is, it's closed. You'll have to get mauled by ice-dragons somewhere else.

Noir Neverland - January 18 2018
But, thankfully, Tiffany's is still open. Go shopping!

Thank you, and stay tuned next Sunday for the next thrilling episode, unless Congress continues its hissy fit and the federal gravy train stays derailed. Then, we'll probably just sit around and eat moon pies or something.

"Hey. It's Cave. Someone's not daaaancing. Come on. You know the law - testing IS NOT a dance exemption. Don't make me call the dance police"

- Cave Johnson, Portal 2 Perpetual Testing Initiative Expansion Pack.

3 comments:

  1. Yay for moon pies, boo for no pianos! Funny stuff grasshopper!

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  2. i always love reading your commentary it cracks me up!

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  3. how do you get your nose to stop burning after you laugh your soda out of it??

    ReplyDelete