Let’s call it an anthem.
It gets the audience in the mood for the performance.
Time to put on your WAR FACE!
I said WAR FACE, not whore face, dammit.
Then, in between acts, there’s often a performer’s warm-up music.
It lets you know who’s coming next.
(If you don’t peek behind the curtain, or look at the day’s lineup.)
It lets you know that you’re about to be… (dramatic pause) THUNDERSTRUCK!
Or the song mentions their name, like, eleventy billion times.
CHEWIE! CHEWIE! CHEWIE! CHEWIE! CHEWIE! CHEWIE!
See?
CHEWIE! CHEWIE! CHEWIE! CHEWIE! CHEWIE! CHEWIE!
See what I mean?
CHEWIE! CHEWIE! CHEWIE! CHEWIE! CHEWIE! CHEWIE!
Okay, knock it the fuck off right now!
Jeez!
Or, the song fills you with a sense of dread… oh my God, they’re up tonight? (SHOTS FIRED!)
So you can get another beer, or take a quick bathroom break.
Maybe both?
(I hide my vodka in the tank. I need help.)
I’ve been thinking about what tune I’d use as an introduction.
Not that I’ll ever perform, but what if… you know.
Kind of like playing “Fuck, Marry, Kill” with a list of Hollywood actors.
You never will, but…
No. Just no. (Call me, Scarlett!)
Anyway, I thought about it for a while and came up with a list.
Whatsername by Green Day, because I burned all the photographs.
Excitable Boy by Warren Zevon, because… Warren.
Or maybe his I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead. That works, too.
Late Night Evening Prostitute by Tom Waits, because… Tom. Just Tom.
(And I’m a fucking attention whore, living in denial.)
Everybody’s My Friend by Kansas, but everybody isn’t. So, forget that.
Storms by Fleetwood Mac is way too long.
Stop Forwarding That Crap To Me by Weird Al is too.
Build The Robots by Doctor Steel?
And so on… we could play this game… this wicked game for hours.
The point is, you’ll never hear this shit or see me perform. Deal with it.
I firmly believe in the principles of Gonzo, but Plimpton went too far with the football shit.
And Hunter… man, you do not want to get me started on that dude.
Just because I'm appropriating the title of his greatest work, I'm not going to floss my teeth with a Magnum any time soon, eh. (Football Season is not over yet!)
The questions I’m asking today are:
- What is your group’s anthem, and why did y’all select it? What does it mean to you?
- What is your performer intro music, and why did you select it?
- Is there other music related to you or your group that you’d like to talk about?
Lay it on me, folks. The comments are open.